Luke 9:23

Luke 9:23- 24

If any man would come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

These are verses often quoted. Denial is  intrinsic to devotion. However, denial can become the goal, rather than a path. Denial for denial’s sake is self defeating. Every ascetic and hermit has walked this path. Indian mythology and religious fervor is characterized by varying and often extreme forms of denial. The obliteration of all desire is the goal, with the hope that this release will provide the soul the necessary impetus to mystically unite with god. Out of this strange marriage is supposed to flow power, and the enhanced ability to flow with the continuum of time and energy that impels the universe. While wildly probable, it is quite evanescent and ethereal which is why ascetics and hermits are so infrequent, and often revealed as charlatans in a futile garb of ochre.

But denial still occupies a central position in devotion and discipleship. What is different about Christian denial? Central to denial for the believer is the prefix that Jesus gives it. If. “If any man would follow, or come after me” He says. This is a personal plea, the pre requisite being the overwhelming desire for companionship with the Master that dwarfs all other desires. Desire denied is not for the sake of ascetism, but is an all consuming devotion eclipsing all other desires. The focus of the denial is not ourselves or our desires, but a desire to be with Him, and follow Him.  It is not denial for denial’s sake or some Olympic religious exhibition. How consuming is this desire in us ? For if we lack clarity,  our path too might get tangled in the thickets of our desires, and we might be strung up on a branch by our own hair. A pitiful end on a detour masquerading as devotion.

There is no arguing with the “must” of denial. It seems a natural corollary or consequence to devotion. It is an invariable accompaniment to the mystique of the marriage. But it is not heard as a dirge, but as a joyful accompaniment in a dance with Him who made the heavens dance and the earth sing.

Denial is as much about Lordship than anything else. And Lordship is a state of being. All that is within us actually rebels against Lordship, veering towards independence. Independance is a sugar coated word for rebellion. There is no middle ground. We constantly need to remind ourselves of our place. Which is why the first beatitude speaks of a spiritual bankruptcy, of being poor in spirit.

Jesus said that we must deny ourselved DAILY. Our fealty and alleigance is not an event from a fondly remembered past, but a minute by minute, day by day assumption of our spiritual stand, our spiritual position in Him. Life teaches us about this, and the older we get, we get more chances to practice it. How do we react to these opportunities? If there is disappointment, or anger or regret, or frustration, these may be indicators that our vision may be more focused  inwards than on our Master. If there is peace, and quietness, and may I even dare to say joy, it reassures us that we do occupy the place that is marked out for us.

Neither does that denial stop there, for we are on a path hot on the heels of the Master himself. He goes before us. We just have to follow. It is far easier to follow. He decides both destination and direction.  We have footsteps ahead of us showing us the way. We are not lost, though the direction may not be clear. Following a footstep at a time is also against our natures, since we want a google map for life with directions from point A to E. Little do we realize that all the points B, C, and D which appear futile for us to chart, bring us closer to our destination, our inner transformation. Viewed in this light, would we even want to bypass those milestones, however irrelevant or pointless they may seem?

We constantly seek to be the captain of our souls, the master of our fate. Rebellion uncapped, spewing malcontent around us. Why should I sacrifice my life, and surrender all to futility? Here again, Jesus reminds us that our surrender is for Him, for His sake. A faithful dog rarely questions the path the master takes. Sufficient for the mongrel is to dog His masters steps and to be in His presence. All else is secondary. He who wants to save his life will lose it.

Is not all of life as we know it an attempt to save it? The strife to survive? Once we have survived, the strife to get ahead? Once we get ahead the strife for a better job, a better position, a better house, a better car ad infinitum?  Jesus is saying this road tumbles into a bottomless pit. Loss of life itself is the inevitable end. But he who loses his life because of Me will save it. The salvation of our lives is not the focus but the byproduct of our devotion. Why do we do what we do? Is it because of Him? Is it because He said so?  The consequences are in His hand, and it will result in a salvation far beyond what we can comprehend. 

No eye has seen or ear heard what God has prepared for those who wait for Him.

Abide.