Judas in the shadows

Judas is associated with all that is evil, bad, frail and treacherous. Could we disregard these labels for a while and extend the  grace of considering him as a person?

When we look at life from his perspective, we are confronted with an awful image in the mirror that could very easily be…. ours. Judas lurks in the shadows, not only of history but also in shadows of each of our lives.

• He was attracted to Jesus, and became one of the disciples. He too chose to follow him.  

Each of us has reasons to follow Jesus. All these reasons may not be the right ones. Judas was a Zealot, who expected and anticipated the return of the Messiah as a conqueror, overturning and crushing the Roman  eagle to the Judean dust. Jesus fulfilled every desire and held the key to every promise Judas eagerly anticipated. He surely was the one worth following.

Why do we follow Jesus?

• Is it because He attracts us with ideals that we cherish and resonate with?
• Is it because He holds the promise of better things to come?
• Is it because He has demonstrated His omnipotent power in our puny lives that leaves us without a shadow of doubt that He is God?

While all the above reasons are valid and true, they still are not on the path that leads through Gethsemane to the cross, but are  attractive neon lit signposts on the way to Akeldema, the field of blood where Judas died.

• The means to the end could involve compromise.

Judas held the purse strings of this band of followers, and the Bible records that he often dipped into it himself. (John 12:6)  I am sure he did not start out that way. But after following for a while, one can justify almost anything from an altruistic perspective.  The altruistic perspective dims our vision of the Saviour, blinding us to see dollars in feet being washed and caressed by a desperate love. It attaches an economic price tag to every act of  service, and seeks to tailor all service to extract maximum “bang for the buck”.  Extravagant love mingling with tears and spilling onto a dusty middle eastern floor can only be considered a frightful waste.  Judas said this, not because he cared for the poor, but because he was in the practice of stealing from the coffer. We always need a reason to justify our greed. Those who don’t steal need no reason at all.

• When our idea of service conflicts with Jesus’s we reach a crossroad that leads to Akeldema. The bible records in John 12 that when Jesus sanctified and edified the extravagant worship offered by Mary, Judas left. Jesus’s ideas are often at variance with popular opinion. He sees into the souls of people, and accepts their worship. Such worship may contradict with our ideas of service.  When looked at from an economic perspective, it may not make any sense at all, and may even reek of  extravagance and be a frightful waste of resources. This is the crossroad that leads to self destruction.  We really have  only two choices, either to continue to follow Jesus on His terms by accepting his perspective and altering our  world view, or leave him and continue in our “service”  along our premeditated path.

• It is at such times when we say “We have to do something about it”. Jesus is just not following the road he is supposed to take. He is not filling the seat that is rightfully his. We need to help him. We need to act. We need to manipulate circumstances and people and plan to elevate Him onto the throne.  One sincere thought that Judas might have had in considering so great a betrayal was that “If  I yield Him up to the chief priests then surely Jesus will declare himself, and show himself for who He is.” Judas had no misconceptions on the either the Lordship or authority of Jesus. He knew His master.  But that knowledge did not foster obedience. Knowledge alone is  a faulty compass on the road to discipleship. It is not enough. That very knowledge led him to diabolically betray His master. Was it because on many a smaller occasion earlier, the end had justified the means? Was it because the coins that had passed through his fingers earlier drove the nail through Jesus’s  hands?  Did those earlier unaccounted for red marks in the accounting ledger paint the path to his field of blood?

• So it was with a sincere kiss, that Judas handed the Son of the God of the Universe over to a smattering of soldiers bravely wielding toothpick swords. Judas may have  anticipated a great unveiling, and a glorious ascension to the throne of the world. Our plans, not His.  Our way, not His. Our path, not His. Yet that path shrouded in the midnight hour, was an elusive deception. Judas may have counted on the fact that the Sanhedrin had no authority to kill. They could only judge according to the law. Jesus then had to be set free, and the only thing he could do was to  declare himself as the Saviour, since that was the truth. The path was predictably secure. It was the sure road to success.

• Alas,  as the night progressed, a nightmare awakened, as Judas watched Jesus handed over to the Roman empire. The Romans had every right to torture, maim, lash and crucify. The unthinkable nightmare suddenly was stained with real blood.  The “perfect plan” was out of his hands, and it had run away. There was nothing he could do but watch in horror from the sidelines on the bloody course  of this unwritten script. It was too much for him to take. Deep down, the small compromises had led him to betray the one person he had looked up to and held most dear. He could not watch Him being nailed to the cross, knowing that his hand too, had helped drive that nail into the beam. Judas checked out. He took his life. Judas was truly sincere, but  he was sincerely wrong.  His world had no room for the crucifixion and therefore, was also denied the resurrection.  A potters field is his heritage, even to this day.

Today, our misplaced missions leave Potters fields in our arenas of service, mausoleums and monuments to a life sincerely lived, but which may also have been sincerely wrong. And many a mission is maligned by the stains of blood that lace our life offerings, as we design castles in our vineyards where maybe God only planned turned earth and broken soil.

May God have mercy upon us all to see Judas lurking in the shadows of our lives, and grant us the grace to go to Golgotha, rather than spilling our insides out after a life of service that leaves only a field of Blood.