Helpless dependance

A baby anywhere, in any country, in any situation always calls out the best in us. Its sheer helpless dependence calls out the most protective instincts in even unrelated species. When its dependency is examined we find that the parents choose to be ones to take care of him or her. Its dependency springs from its helplessness, which is the reason for its dependency. If the parents abdicate responsibility, as is occasionally the case, others come forward to assume this role, through adoption. The parents are the actually the ones adopted, since the child would be the same, regardless of who “adopts” it.

The movie Spiderman had as its catchkey the phrase –“With great power comes great responsibility”. The antipode of this is abject helplessness which generates great dependency. We could generate another catchkey –“ With great helplessness comes great dependency.”

The relationship between the helper and the helpless fosters dependency, which gradually grows into monitored dependence and then a gradual independence that frees everything except the relationship which is preserved for ever. This process is called growing up.

Whom do we look towards when we are helpless? Who are we dependant on? Eclipsing our earthly parents, are we also able to look upon God as our adopted Father? Can this deepen a relationship with Him as we sense Him providing and caring for us even through earthly hands and homes? Can our dependency be felt in our soul? Can we turn to Him by force of reinforced habit and the solidarity of past experience  knowing that He will indeed help us in our helplessness?

A baby is at first dependant on its parents for every function. Feeding, changing,, being kept warm and safe. Gradually it learns basic functions, and gradually its dependency undergoes a weaning. It stays content in close proximity with its mother. “Like a weaned child” is an allegory understood in every language. It does not know what it may need tomorrow, but is content by the proximity of the provider.

As maturation happens, it learns to fend for itself, and gradually looks to the parents for less and less. Only in times of trouble and strife does it run seeking shelter and comfort.  We spend most of our lives in this phase, with God a mere memory awakened only during troubled times. 

Some children feel let down by their parents, and carry those fractured emotions into their understanding of God. Indeed our earthly relationships are shadows of heaven. How unfair it would be for us to judge our heavenly father by the behavior of our earthly one. Are we able to transcend our fractured earthly understanding by learning a heavenly dependence?

The strongest bond between father and son who have grown up loving each other is well demonstrated by a son taking care of his father in old age. Here suddenly, roles are reversed for caretaker and care receiver, but the relationship is preserved, though the dependency changes. Here the relationship has exceeded and eclipsed its reason for existence, when it is not what one does for another that really matters, but the fact that one exists. 

Our frail understanding of God as the giver is often a selfish one. When we are able to understand Him for who he is rather than what He gives us, we have been able to enter that sphere of true relationship, where it is not what one does, but who one is that really matters.